Chapter one - "why simplify?"

Monday, May 7, 2012

F+F Simplicity Parenting.jpg

Welcome to my little virtual book club. Thank you so much for playing along. Everyday we will focus on a chapter, please comment away {I will be responding to all comments and would encourage you all to respond to each other as well}. Each day I will have a cohost who will give their thoughts on the chapter and then below I will ask some questions that we can discuss {comment on}. Well here is goes...

Today Melissa with Reverie Daydream is my cohost as we discuss Chapter one, "Why Simplify?"

Before we had our one and only crumb, our lives were very minimalistic. We lived in a home of contemporary design with a color palette of creams, greys and natural wood finishes. Soothing, clean, fresh and simple would be how I would best describe our pre-child existence. Then she came along and added her vibrant love for color, toys, and the general stuff that comes along with these little people. We were always up front with our families and friends in regards to the overload of gifts, and at first, they listened, but then something crazy happened, the influx of ‘junk’ from well-meaning grandparents and such became out of control. Even with pleas of “save your money and buy a plane ticket to come and spend time with her” didn’t work. When they visit, they take her to toy stores and let her choose whatever she wants. The stuff comes home and is played with maybe once and then forgotten. I’ve always been a purger. Every few months, the house gets a good cleanse of things to bring us all back into check and keep our surroundings as clear and peaceful as possible. Now that our crumb is four, she has noticed when certain toys are no longer around and a drama of sorts unfolds. This is not how I want my child to be raised, for our objective is for her to appreciate the few toys and play things that encourage imagination, music, and learning. Over the past few weeks, we have kindly let our families know where we stand {again}, and we are not falling in the trap of buying our crumb something new just because she asks for it. She has gradually stopped asking for things when we go to the store, and she has helped me choose her favorite toys/stuffed animals that she would like to keep. It is all down to a manageable quantity, and I already notice a lengthening of her attention span for play and learning. We do not have a television, so she is not tempted by the latest and greatest must-haves seen on commercials, nor is she over-stimulated by the fast-paced shows and cartoons that jam the channels. For the most part, our lives are very clean and simple. We spend a great deal of time outdoors where we set up her teepee, read books, build forts using leaves, sticks, rocks and petals for the ladybugs, gather flowers along our walks to add to her field journal, and make bi-weekly {or more} trips to the library to rotate titles in our constant book tower along with working in the garden, painting alongside her papa, and cooking with me in the kitchen, these are the things that make her happiest. It’s become evident that excess is truly a cluttering of the mind. No matter the age, one cannot think clearly when our spaces are “maxed out”.

The author, Kim John Payne, M.Ed., says that when he starts working with any family he always asks "How did you dream your family would look?" He says that this is usually not inline with the way you live today and can be a great starting point for where you want to go. So for you all reading "What did you dream your family would look like?"

When thinking of this question, I think about being pregnant with my first baby and a friend said that I would be the type of mother who would carry our child around in a basket. I don't know why this has stuck with me for so many years but it reminds me that I do want things to be simple. I have always been so turned off by all of the "stuff" that babies/ children "need." When there was a day that babies were carried around in baskets and slept in dresser drawers.

One last thought that totally blew me away in this first chapter is the idea that every child is quirky. If children have stress in their life {and not "normal life" stress like a broken bone but real caotic stress} this quirkyness turns into a disorder. WOW. It took me a bit to digest this but I can totally see this with Henry. When life is unpredictable and hectic with no downtime, I have been observing Henry go from quirky to OCD. Henry has always loved to have things in order, he likes things to go a certain way but when he is stressed every little thing can make him crazy. A tag in his PJ's can throw him over the edge, a fallen block tower can cause tears for 15 minutes and the normal hibitual tasks of the day seem to be torture.

How does your quirky child change under stress? And have you seen this behavior change as you have implimented Simplicity Parenting into your life?

Thank you Melissa. I am always so inspired by the way that you parent. I have even teased that in my next life I want to come back as your daughter. Thank you for co-hosting and thank you for the adorable photo of Sophia. Much love & light.

*the beautiful photo above is of Melissa and her little Crumb, Gaia... taken by their McDreamy.

37 comments:

  1. Oh boy. So much to think about and digest here. I'm going to be honest and say that I feel completely overwhelmed by this book and the concepts - and I know that's not the intent. It's just shedding a flood light on my life as a parent and a wife and I'm not sure where to start.

    I do have Emerson chose several toys she is willing to giveaway each birthday and Christmas to make room for all the new (crap) but I think it needs to go further than this.

    I'll be reading along for sure. Thanks for sharing. And I too, would like to come back as Mel's daughter. :)

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    1. Estelle... thank you so much for being honest. I agree this is not an easy read. I feel like you have to really want to change to read this. So many things in this book have felt like someone was holding up a mirror and saying "you can do it this way.... BUT!!!!????". For me this book came at the perfect time. As soon as Conrad came many of the things that I have always felt were important has fallen to the waste side. And quite honestly it is because many things take time.
      One of the many things that I have started doing is just getting on the floor and spending time with Henry doing whatever he wants. This was easy when he was my one and only but now with two I feel like simple play time has got pushed aside. I started doing this for 20-30 minutes right before bed and he is so much happier. Up until I started this I have felt like bedtime was a nightmare. I literally felt like "GO THE F TO SLEEP" every night. He would get out and ask for a million {annoying} things. After reading I realize that he just wanted to hang out more. He felt cheated. And those 20 minutes is time that I would spend cleaning up from dinner, running laundry, catching up on Instagram {all things that could be done when he was asleep}. It has been a week and he has not had one fight. He is in bed and doesn't need to go potty, another cup of milk, a new stuffed animal etc.
      I kind of got off on a tangent there but I guess what I would like to say is YES this book is not a "simple" read. And your comment on being a wife... I think this is a book about all avenues of life. I seriously think that this could be about marriage as well. It is just as important to sit down with your husband as it is with your kids. I agree this book is disguised as a parenting book but you could apply it to all aspects of your life.

      oxo!!

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    2. Estelle,

      I think your efforts with Emerson to clear out old toys and things to make room for new ones is a great idea. Not only does it teach her to give, but also the importance of realizing those special things that do mean a lot to her. I've had the privilege of witnessing how you relate to Emerson, and your kind, gentle nature soothes her when she is not in a happy place. You always step away and give her 100% of your attention, looking her in the eyes and really listen to her. This book has shown a lot of light into my life too. There are many areas in need of improvement, and baby steps will lead to the quest for simple changes.

      Alexis,

      You nailed it with how this book can relate to so many aspects of our lives. Marriage definitely needs to be a priority and so often, we put our beloveds on the back burner. One of the main reasons I am on a sabbatical from the blog and other things is because I value my evenings with Sean. I spend all day long with Gaia, and at the end of the day, I crave catching up with the very person it all started with. Blogging, online work, housework and such doesn't have to consume my world every single day. A glass of wine, a long conversation on art or anything with Sean is far superior to any grand image I might pin on pinterest!

      Don't you feel that a few of the main lessons to take from this book is to slow down, step back, and communicate face-to-face, be thankful for what we have without always wanting more, and look up at the stars instead of always planning what to do next?

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    3. Estelle & Alexis~

      I ordered the book a while back, and although I knew I *needed to read it, I also knew that it would be pretty intense and powerful- in a good way, but also a potentially overwhelming way. Since it was a pretty chaotic time, I knew that it wasn't yet the right time to dig into it. So I set it aside and when life had calmed down a bit- when I knew that I'd be more open to its concepts (rather than stressed by), I picked it back up. It has been challenging- in the sense that it is pushing the buttons that need to- w/out a doubt- be pushed... as a wife and mother (totally agree with you in regards to its relatedness to marriage).

      Alexis- loved your comment... oh boy, that sounds eerily familiar to my house as of late. it's amazing that even the smallest changes in regards to our attention, energy, focus, and time with our children make such a huge impact on their attitudes & behaviors. Empowering.

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    4. (one last comment :))... realized i didn't finish my sentence. meant to say- it has been challenging- in such a positive, good, and powerful way... not in a stressful way, by any means. in fact, just the opposite. :)

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  2. Alexis, I loved your comment. For me, something that has helped recently is hanging out for the kids' bedtime stories. I know it's weird since I love books but I don't love reading out loud so my husband took it over while I did dish cleanup from dinner. For Norah in particular, it makes her SO happy to have us all cozied up on the bed together for stories, and that extra attention has cut back on her drama as well.

    I think the thing I'm having the hardest time with overall is that I might want to adopt these habits, but I am pushing up against so much resistance, from my husband (for certain things), my parents, my kids, my in-laws, etc. It's like it is threatening to them for me to try to change and simplify our lives because it feels like a criticism of everyone else, which is not how I mean it to be. So that's a challenge.

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    1. Erin,

      Trust me, our extended families are the core of the problem. They become so angry with us and comment on how we are "not letting her be a kid" because we don't let her have every toy she wants or watch cartoons on television. It isn't that we are strict mean parents, we just know what works for our family, and we feel we are responsible enough to raise our child the way we wish. No one is getting hurt or being deprived of anything that will hinder her growth {physically or mentally}. Mainly, we try and suggest they plan fun activities together with her. Take her to a park and have a picnic, attend a fun puppet show together, walk through a flower show because she loves flowers so much, teach her how to knit or build a frame for a painting, etc. The point is to not give her the impression that by giving her gifts they love her, but rather, by spending time with her, they make memories that will be cherished forever. Personally, I do not remember one toy {except for my rad barbie dream house} from my childhood, but I do recall many great times with my grandparents and parents that involved going to work with them, having lunch with their families, shucking corn from the garden. Good luck with your 'challenge', and if you come up with any good tips to share on how to deal with family resistance, please share.

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    2. Mel & Erin~ This is the same issue that we have, and continue to deal with. I can relate entirely. On one hand they are completely loving & nurturing towards our children (& supportive in regards to helping us with whatever we may need, babysitting, school events, etc), but on the other hand it's been an uphill battle when it comes to gifts, video games/tv, toys, activities... I agree entirely that kids simply want to spend time with their loved ones- it doesn't have to involve over-indulgence, letting them do whatever they want (even if what they "want" is to watch tv all day). I've found that family members have an even more difficult time relating with kids once they are older- not knowing *how to spend time with them or even what to talk to them about- which seems to result in more stepping away and letting them do as they wish- as opposed to creatively trying to come up with valuable, interactive activities- or even just sitting around the table with them over a cup of hot chocolate and a good conversation.

      {just a little venting: my family members (a few of them in particular) hate when we get rid of/purge toys... i can tell that it physically bothers them, and they think it's insane/cruel that we are "throwing" away their stuff... they think that they'll only be little for so long, and that we should "let them be kids"- which i guess means- place no limits/restrictions/boundaries in place? one time I heard my aunt say that she never knows what to get my kids since they're not really "in to toys"- implying that their rooms are bare and toy-free- which has never been the case... they're just not filled with "junk" ;).}

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    3. p.s. Mel~ I'm inspired by your persistent (and firm) stance on this. I remember when we had a little twitter conversation about this a while back, and I told Ryan the next day- she's just like US!! I was excited to know that we are not alone in this, and I felt empowered to remain firm & strong in the face of resistance :). Love the detail (and transparency) that you shared here in regards to your approach- purging, toy-buying, television, activities, etc.

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    4. Torrie... I feel like I may be repeating myself {because I am} but I think as long as you and your husband are on the same page and you feel like you are doing this to protect your kids you just have to ignore the comments that your family will give you. I feel really lucky that my family is on board. I think a lot of that is because my parents had a similar issue with my grandparents. I will never forget that one Easter my grandparents gave us all bunnies {live bunnies} and send us home on our 5 hour drive, 5 bunnies, 5 kids on Easter Sunday through LA traffic. I mean really???!!! could you imagine? So my parents have been on board.... ALTHOUGH.... they all sneak gifts in. What can I do?? I try.

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    5. Hi Erin... do you think your husband would read the book? Ross is listening to it on his commute {on double time... which is pretty funny}... any way I don't think I could do it without his support. I think every little thing would be a battle between my parenting style {trying to do Simplicity Parenting} and his {the way we have always done it}..........

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    6. omg... LOVE it. {and love that your parents can relate, understand, and appreciate your stance on this}... you're totally right. we (ryan & i) are on the exact same page- which definitely helps.

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    7. I want second the husband on board part. I would like my husband to read it (you're awesome Ross), but really mine's just asked for my synopsis and he's jumped on board with both feet with what we've decided to incorporate into our little family.

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  3. Lex, and everyone, thanks for being so honest, it's so helpful to hear what other mama's are going through and to know you're not alone. I am intrigued and need to get a copy asap and start reading (all though now I'm a little scared now ; ) ...but thanks for starting this conversation and I look forward to joining in once I've started reading it. Thanks!

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    1. Hi sweetie... so the hardest part and I just told Amber {the girl is craftee... and she is ;)} is getting family involved. This would not be possible if Ross was not 100% on board. We have seen to many people be victims of entitlement that for us this is our biggest challenge. We have so much family and so much family that would give our kids the world if we would let them, but this is not good for them. I know that I have been the bad guy. I know that I am a wet blanket but I feel like I have to protect my kids from this over indulgence. And again... the stuff is just a fraction of what the book talks about. There is amazing stuff about "pausing" with your children and how to have intimate parenting moments. Or things about giving your child rhythms in their day to make them feel secure. So many things that I have never heard but is exactly the way I want to parent. oxo!!

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    2. ... when we start to see "entitlement" creep in (after too much over-indulgence/family time)... we make it our mission to turn things around a.s.a.p.

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  4. Same as what Joanna said, I want to read this book but everyones comments here are giving me a little anxiety about doing so. Is this book adding additional stress to your lives?

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    1. for me, this book is by no means stress inducing. instead, it offers excellent advice and thought-provoking chapters to help simplify your life or integrate small changes into your home, schedules, etc., which most likely will equate to happier kids and family. it is not a "finger pointing" book, and with all books, certain passages speak more to some than others. i believe it is meant to be used as a guide rather than "do this or else".

      i hope you will at least give it a chance... :)

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    2. Okay, thank you! I've been working on simplifying our house for the past year and it has been a slow, gradual process, which still needs improvement but I'm very happy with the simple changes that I've made this far. I will get the book and pluck what information I can apply and find useful in my life. This is great ladies! Look forward to hearing more from you this week!

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    3. Amber... it is not scary... I think when I say that I am really speaking to the idea of getting all family members on board. Luckily {and I highly suggest it} Ross has been listening to the book on his iphone so that we have been "reading" it together. It is amazing how we both hear things differently. It has been an amazing way for us to talk about how we want to parent and how we want our family to look. One of the things {and I will talk about this on day six "Filtering Out the Adult World"} we started NO SCREEN SUNDAYS... one day a week where there is no Instagram, no computer, no emailing, no TV... I mean of course you will have to make calls and things will come up but the fact that we want to dedicate one day to just being with each other is so exciting for me. This is something that I would have dreamed of when I was rubbing my belly planning for being a family :). I hope you do read it and I hope we can talk about it one day. oxo!!!

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  5. I love the concept behind the book, and feel it's always important in our lives to keep the value on our relationship, the moments, the little things, and not all the stuff. That being said, I tend to enjoy all the moments and get caught up in living life, that sometimes {ok a lot} the 'stuff' does build up. The clutter forms which then adds stress to me. Not so much the kids, I feel they have a great balance but it's me that it seems to stress out more. I am always trying to purge stuff, and tell my family to please stop "giving" us things, although I know this brings them such joy to give to us. It adds a lot of stress. I am going to make the time to read the book soon, but for now I will continue to read your posts and take inspiration from them until I read the actual book :) Much love! Nic

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    1. Neeks... I think you will like the book a lot... I am so looking forward to hearing what you think... especially with older kids... I only have Henry and Conrad to use it with and I think it will continue to get harder as they get older.... oxoxo!!!

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  6. First off, I didn't read the book, so I am not sure if what I'm writing will even relate to the chapter, but I wanted to put my two cents in anyways haha. Our home is NOT simple, BUT I really do have a very happy kid! He has a million toys that were mainly from past birthdays, holidays etc. And yes I do, on occasion buy him what he wants and yes, he is allowed to watch a movie on tv or a cartoon. With all that said, he has never once had a tantrum in his life and that really is not an exaggeration, and you bet I count my lucky stars everyday! . He has never once had a crying fit over any toy in his life, even with all the luxuries of getting what he wants at times. I really feel so silly writing all of this, because I am by NO MEANS trying to brag about my kid. I guess my point is that you CAN have a not so simple life AND have a perfectly happy kid and household. Now is my kid a perfect angel? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I have to tell him 20 times to get dressed, or finish his food, he isn't the best listener. But I CHOOSE to be okay with that. I don't need him to be perfect. He is 4 years old. This is how 4 year olds should act right? If anything, I want to simplify our life NOT because I want a happier kid, but because it's just easier. Less stuff to pick up, more space to play, and imagine all the money that will be saved. For those who are imagining my son as one that plays all day with his millions of toys and watches lots of tv, that is the exact opposite of what he does. He loves to be right by my side ALL DAY LONG...just talking my ear off. I have to force him to play with his toys (you know, the one that he HAD to have that I of course bought him..yea that toy!) I look at our playroom and immediately get a headache so simple would be nice, in that it means a cleaner home. The toys in our house do not take away from anything in our life except space and money! We still go to the park, beach, have picnics, dance, color, sing and read on daily/weekly basis even with all the crap in our house. The stress we have I guess boils down to space issues. I just want to simplify to have a cleaner home!! Lastly, Harper went to Sanderling Waldorf school. I am completely aware of THE MOST SIMPLE way of living and raising kids, as I have seen it first hand while at the schoo interacting with the parents and children. Are the kids just as happy as mine? Sure they are!!!! So I guess just do what suites you best. Don't stress about the rules in this book, as it seems some of you already are. Each kid is different. There will never be a book with a miracle solution. Also...one thing I started doing is praising Harper around the clock and thanking him for the smallest things he does, even when he is driving me CRAZY! I love to hear him say "you're welcome mom". Positive reinforcement works WONDERS!!!!!!!!!

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    1. OPPS, not sure why I"m posted as anonymous up there! I wrote all that!

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    2. Grace... I think the issue of stuff is just a fraction of what the book is about. Knowing you, knowing Harper and seeing you as a family I think you do many of the things that the book offers... most of the people who are saying that the book is stressing them out haven't read the book. It truly is the exact opposite. I think because you and Harper had that time at Waldorf you have been doing most of the things that have been new ideas for me. I totally know that you can have a happy child with lots of stuff. I can only speak for my family and the issue of stuff is actually where this all came from. A few weeks ago I wrote a post about "Choice" and how I feel like it is not good for Henry. Since I started reading this book I have tried to implement everything I could... giving time to "pause", "clearing out the stuff", not giving choices when it comes to food, what we are doing today or what to wear... every single thing I have tried has worked for Henry. It has been a few weeks and I have started to believe it isn't a fluke. He really does seem more content and at ease which is my goal. Of course we can not create a "perfect" environment but I do believe that I need to protect Henry's childhood and keep it as pure and clean as possible.
      There are so many amazing points in this book that I think you would love... mostly because you do them already but also because it is such a great book just for life, our marriages and just keeping life as simple as possible.

      oxo!!!!

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    3. I love everything both of you are saying actually and can completely relate to it. Cody and I were just talking about this actually. I love the idea of clearing out the clutter, but thats more from a visual standpoint {LOL} as far as our children are concerned and the way the family rolls we feel it's working really well so why change it. I am going to read the book and look forward to more inspiration to come from it, but also think that with the montessori style of learning in the early years of our kids lives that they do not long/need for the toys they receive as gifts. I can't say my kids have never had tantrums, but I can say that as they grow and as we rarely see a tantrum. Anyways, I just had to say that I completely agree, a not so simple life can function just as well as the simple style, but I think the book will be immensely helpful in all aspects of life. :)

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  7. Powerful first chapter. One thing that I keep in mind when reading parenting books or blogs for that matter, is to look to them for inspiration and not comparison. If we look outside ourselves at books, blogs or "experts" and begin measuring ourselves against them, we will always feel like we are falling short. But if we use them as a tool, one of many, our intuition being first, then they can inspire us. There are many great ideas and tips that can enhance our lives and I feel like this book is definitely one of them.

    One thing that struck me from the first chapter was the quote, "The pace of our lives is increasingly misaligned with the pace of childhood." Childhood is waking up slowly. It is sitting on mama's lap, warm from a night of dreams, snuggled in, drinking a sippy of morning milk and asking, "what day is it and what are we doing." Childhood takes a l o n g time to get ready. There are many happy distractions on the way to "find your shoes, we need to go." This chapter reminded me to slow down. To align my world with their pace when I can. This is their time and their life as much as it is mine. When there are five rolly polly's to be gathered on the way to the car, I remind myself about my childhood and how important that "work" of collecting things in nature was to me and I try and give them the time and space to do it. Many moments are rushed, so I make a conscious effort to have others that aren't.

    Thanks for the discussion!

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    1. SPOT ON! I am so glad that you brought this up... this is such a powerful powerful part of chapter one. I feel like as parents it is our job to cultivate and protect our children's childhood. It is the only time in their life that it is okay to just be a kid. Why would we ever take that away. I think this also has helped me to be more patient. As much as I love watching the clouds move... we have places to go people!! :) This is such a perfect way of reminding me to savor this time and stop trying to rush it a long. THANK YOU so much for this comment... so right on. ox

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    2. Thank you Alexis for your reply. I will definitely read the book as I know I can certainly benefit from it. Especially as I start all over raising a new child (who I am CERTAIN will be the tantrum queen!). And I also agree, SPOT ON Karina!!! That is my biggest issue right now with my son. He is slow to do everything, and I find myself constantly saying "hurry up", when I should just step back. I have always been fully aware of living and cherishing every single moment of childhood, marriage, life etc, as I have learned the hard way that life is so short. This has made me okay with sitting for long periods just watching my son sleep, breathe, play because I want to take it all in. But contrary to that, I still find myself constantly rushing around to do things around the house and around town, and to be somewhere at a certain time and I hate that! I can't wait to read the book and gather the inspiration I need to just slow down. Alexis, I wanted to share a prayer that I read all the time which helps me get through the days...It's called For My Children...

      Heavenly Father, make me a better parent. Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say, and to answer all their questions kindly. Keep me from interrupting them or contradicting them. Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me. Forbid that I should ever laugh at their mistakes or resort to shame or ridicule when they displease me. May I never punish them for my own selfish satisfaction or to show my power. Let me not tempt my child to lie or steal and guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say and do that honestly produces happiness. Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me. And when I am out of sorts, help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue. May I ever be mindful that my children are children and I should not expect of them the judgment of adults. Let me not rob them of the opportunity to make their own decisions. Bless me with the bigness to grant them all their reasonable rquests and the courage to deny them privileges I know will do them harm. Make me fair and just and kind, owrthy to be loved and respected and imitated to my children. Amen.

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    3. *last line should read "worthy" to be loved and respected and imitated "by" my children. It's 4am so I am half awake. Okay back to bed! xoxo

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    4. Oh Grace, I'm going to say this prayer every day! Amen! My husband and I too have learned the hard way, unfortunately many times, that life is short and it keeps things in perspective for us. That is probably the biggest influence in how we parent. We cherish each day and try our hardest not to sweat the small stuff.

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  8. I was looking so forward to this discussion - I hope it is not too late to comment. I blog early in the morning and yesterday the post was not yet up:)
    We have recently had to simplify our life out of financial necessity and have moved from a big home in the suburbs to a skinny city house. In the process we had to rid ourselves of so many possessions including a load of toys. Compared to many friends and family members we didn't have a lot but it still seemed like too much. My family now is so much more like the family of my dreams. We have removed so much "clutter" from our lives. Now when I go into big houses filled with stuff, I find myself stressed out and I wonder how it must be for a small child. At the same time I feel like I am in on a secret - one that I am so grateful to know - and that my children will benefit from. This chapter confirmed that what I am feeling and what we have started is a good thing.

    Thank you for this book recommendation and this opportunity to discuss it!

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    1. I think your thought that it is a secret is so true... I can not tell you how scared I was to clean Henry's room out. I did it one day while he was at school. The anti-Christmas that I was conducting felt wrong. I felt like Henry was going to be angry at me, maybe even not trust me. BUT NO! total opposite. He actually thanked me for "cleaning his room" ever since he has been so much happier in his room. And just like the book suggests his level of creativity has gone throw the roof. He is making games out of trash and junk mail. No really he is kind of obsessed :).

      thank you for playing along.

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    2. My son is making treasures out of our trash and junk. He's really into tape right now and has taped bottle caps and boxes and anything together to make things like movie projectors and airplanes. It's so fun to watch.

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  9. I think it's such a great idea to discuss the book in chapters with a cohost.
    I really enjoyed the first chapter of the book because, like Melissa, I am a purger. The running joke in our family is if something is missing (keys, camera, remote..), my husband will jokingly say that I probably threw it in the trash.
    Since children have come into our lives, the purging has become absolutely necessary. In our family, we have a set of grandparents that buy way too many gifts (for any and every occasion). Up until now, I really didn't have the heart to ask them to stop. However, it's reaching a point where the toys are getting way out of control. In fact, I think I'm going to go purge some stuff right now.
    Thank you, Alexis and all the co-hosts, for getting this conversation started. It's going to be a fun week.
    PS~I didn't find this book to be stressful. I realize and know that I am not, and never will be, a perfect parent. All I can do is aim to improve and be better by utilizing advice/tools/tips/books that make the most sense for my family.

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  10. I stumbled upon this post and am intrigued, but don't know name of book. Help and forgive my cluelessness. -mom of toddler triplets

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