Disney + a thought on Simplicity Parenting

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

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Last week was Henry's second trip to Disneyland. It was such a magical day. It really was the Happiest Place on Earth last Tuesday. There is something so amazingly awesome about riding a roller coaster with your kiddo. The look on Henry's face was pure joy mixed with a little terror. I was laughing so hard I couldn't stop and when we got off Thunder Mountain I think Henry was at least an inch taller.

So a thought on Simplicity Parenting. Ross has been listening to the book on his commutes to work so we have been able to talk a lot about our desire to simplify. When Ross's parents so graciously offered to take us to Disneyland we asked them to honor our wishes to keep it simple. This is hard when everywhere you turn there is something any child would want. Every single attraction dumps you out at a new gift store. Ross's parents were totally on board for us to make the "gift" our trip to Disneyland. Henry might of had the best day of his life {I mean really it felt like that}. Of course I am not saying that he would have had less fun if he had gotten a toy but I do feel like something about the experience changes. Last year we had a great time, although there was a huge focus on finding the "perfect" toy. Henry knew that he was going to get a toy so he spent a lot of the day looking at every single option in every single store. Which really isn't the point, right?

Henry got the attention of 2 grandparents, 2 parents, ride after ride, ice cream, cotton candy, a hug from Donald and he left singing the entire way home. I think it was a success. Have you tried anything that the books suggests? What do you think?


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20 comments:

  1. i love the idea that the trip WAS the gift. my partner and I were just having the same conversation about our son, teaching him that he doesn't get to buy something at every store when he is running errands with us just because that is what he sees modeled by his cousins and aunt. good job to you keeping the focus on what could easily be overlooked by a little one! p.s. we still want to see those glamour shots. that's right, we haven't forgotten!

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    1. honestly I have no idea where those photos are {which is convenient ;)}
      The issue of toys in every store {even the post office} is talked about in Simplicity Parenting. It is nuts. Toys are everywhere and it just teaches us to consume and think of all things as disposable. thank you for your comment!

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  2. I can't tell you how many awful Disneyland toys we have from when my parents have taken the kids! For us, the allowance jars have helped the "buy me something" conversation a bit- my kids no longer expect to get something new at Target or the store. But the grandparents are another issue and my attempt to talk rationally about the amount of stuff coming into our home all the time wasn't really met well. My stepmom in particular sends bags of clothes and toys home with the kids any time she watches them.
    I'm still enjoying Simplicity Parenting and still working on decluttering the house and making "zones" for quiet reading, art, etc. The only thing I struggle with is that my 5 yr old is a "collector"- she has tiny boxes and little things everywhere that are meaningful to her. I want to throw them out every day but I do want to honor her personality and what she values. So I'm trying to at least pare those down into "must save" and then corral that into little pretty boxes for her dresser. It's tough!

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  3. the hardest thing I feel is figuring out how to tell grandparents and distant relatives that less is more. I haven't read the book yet, so maybe it touches on this specifically, but I have felt almost rude asking them not to get/send several big gifts for his birthday and christmas, because they love doing it, and get joy out of that. I think this is partly how they feel they are able to connect when they don't get to see him that often, and they want him to remember that they thought of him over the years. I'd love to hear how others deal with avoiding the frenzy of being bombarded with birthday and christmas gifts each year? we are going to try a secret santa gift exchange between the nine grandkids this christmas, so each kid with get one gift. some i know ask for "no gifts please" on birthday party invites, or ask to donate a toy. some collect the gifts and keep them in the garage, bribing out just one at a time here and there. what do you do?

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    1. This is a huge huge issue for us... my parents have been married, divorced and divorced again so just on my side there are 4 grandparents. All independent from each other. So for Easter if everyone wanted to bring a gift/basket for Henry and Conrad they each would have gotten 6 baskets {5 grandparents and Ross/I}. So we have had to give very direct rules on gift giving. This Easter was the first holiday where we said no gifts {please}. It has been such a struggle and I am sure that I have hurt peoples feeling with this but I don't know what else to do. 6 Easter presents is totally totally nuts. Henry got a great basket from the bunny {mom and dad} full of everything he could have wanted {soccer ball, Darth Veder, candy, etc...}, he was totally pumped. I have had to have some pretty uncomfortable conversations but the bottom line is that I am doing it for my child. It is kind of like I have to be mama bear protecting my child from being an entitled brat. For Christmas we have asked every grandparent to give Henry one gift and if they want to do more they could contribute to his college fund {have I lost you yet... I know I sound like a total wet blanket}. The biggest challenge that I predict is that Henry and Conrad's cousins are still getting Easter baskets and presents. This is hard to navigate. I really don't know what to do about this. I never want my child to feel left out or that his grandparents prefer his cousins. I am not sure how this is going to turn out????? So far this hasn't been an issue but he is only 3...

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  4. Love it! I love Henry's patch shirt you made too!!!! SO cute! We pass on buying gifts when at theme parks as well, the kids have never really had an issue with not getting a toy somewhere, however the family still seems to find a way to sneak in a little something for them on the way out. Usually though, I am in complete agreement that there is not a need for another toy. You have been to our home and know that my children have way to many as it is, and I can't wait to read Simplicity Parenting to begin the process "guilt free" of donating their toys and "stuff". I agree with Erin {Suchsmallsteps} my kids are still in a phase of having some attachment to items that I find not necessary, so it takes baby steps to rid them of the clutter too! Thank you for sharing this all with me :) XOXO Nic

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    1. I know you will really like the book Neeks... It really has given me things to think of when I simplify our toys and of course there are toys that I feel guilty getting rid off but I have stashed those away in a 'keep' bin in the attic. They may be donated in a few years but at least for now I don't feel bad about removing them from Henry's room. I like how he gives very specific ideas about what toys are good and what toys are not so good. There are also a lot of things that I want to bring into Henry's room. The author, Kim John Payne, suggests having a costume box {which I know you have ;)} and then a box of fabric, robe, clothes pins, and basically tools for your child to imagine and explore. I love this. Truly Henry's favorite thing to play with is the Diapers.com boxes that comes in the mail. Right now he is sitting in his "dragon" {aka colored Diapers.com box}. ox

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  5. Joanna, just a thought on the birthday party gift thing- I used to always write "no gifts" and people still brought stuff. So this past birthday, we did a charity component and asked everyone to bring a new children's book to donate to our local children's hospital (there was a book theme to the party). It left people able to still feel like they were bringing something but we didn't keep anything at our house after. Plus it was a nice teaching moment for my kids.

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    1. I love this idea... so good!! The other thing that I saw recently was that in lieu of gifts the parents asked every guest to bring something to add to the child's time capsule. It was so cute, people brought the newspaper from the day of his birthday, CD's with the top ten songs of the year, a T-shirt from the town the family lived in. It was very sweet and fun to be a part of.

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  6. I am late to the party here, but thank you Alexis for introducing me to this book. I have been researching it all afternoon since reading your post and cannot wait to pick it up.

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    1. oh good... I hope you join the conversation... I have gotten so much out of it so far... ox

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  7. Funny story: I purchased Simplicity Parenting (via Kindle) about a year ago and immediately threw out a big bag of toys (mainly toys that were broken or missing parts). It felt good. I finished about a third of the book and then set it aside because life and other such things got in the way. I recently read your 'Simplicity Parenting Book Club' post and wanted to join the fun. So, I went to the Kindle to download the book, totally forgetting I already purchased it! Doh, momnesia strikes again! Anyway, long story short, I'm back reading the book, really enjoying it, and can't wait to discuss with everyone in May. Sounds like there's plenty to discuss. ;) Thank you for getting this conversation started, Alexis.
    PS~I would have to agree: Grandparents are our biggest culprits right now.
    PPS~Erin, I LOVE your idea of having a charity component to bday parties in lieu of gifts. We went to a bday party a few years ago where the parents asked everyone to donate to Make-A-Wish.

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    1. that is crazy.... so glad you are going to pick it up again ;)

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  8. Oh my gosh, that sounds like a dream! I love Disneyland and I tend to indulge the naughtiest sides of myself there. I eat all the junk, drink wine in bed while watching TV long after Emerson crashes and usually buy one giant piece of CRAP like a light up rose or something dumb like that. But I will say, Emerson will obsess over that purchase and play with it for months and months and bring it to show and tell at school. We took a last minute trip there the day after Thanksgiving last year and didn't buy her anything but a surprise Dumbo Christmas tree ornament (because she LOVES elephants) and on our way out of the hotel she asked if she could go visit and give one last hug to the baby Bambi doll in the hotel gift shop. It was pretty sweet so my hubby ran back and bought it and we surprised her on Christmas morning with it. That thing has not left her side (no joke) since Christmas morning. Her birthday party was a baby deer and elephant theme because she's still so in love. Anyway, now that I've written a novel in your comment section and rekindled my love affair with Disneyland...I'll be heading off. But not before I tell you how happy I am to have you back blogging. And the new design is beautiful! have a great afternoon.

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    1. Whatever you are doing is what I want to do, I feel like my goal is to have Henry cherish things that he is given. Sounds like you guys have created such amazing memories and made it super special.

      Can we meet already ;)... I hope that happens some day soon. I am up for a little meet up with you and Mel ASAP!! maybe this summer?? ox

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  9. Disney is a wonderful place for kids!So many lovely things in there.

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  10. I'd like to read that. It sounds interesting. I like the less is more. I wish i did it more!

    You made me laugh today over at la la lovely. So true!

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  11. okay after reading this post and the comments I am making time to read the book this month! I'm feeling with two I am letting things super slide and this will be good push to get back on the good mommy track...re presents from grandparents...Louisa's first bday was the first time everyone actually listened and mostly chipped in to her college fund...it felt so good to not have a mountain of new toys to put away...It may not be as "fun" for the grandparents but I think they will be pretty proud to see the awesome fund the girls will have when they are 18 instead of a million toys given away to goodwill ;) and if they think I'm a sourpuss oh well! xoxo

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  12. Great! I love Henry's shirt. I wish to find one on my Disney vacation next week too, my daughter will surely gonna love this shirt. Airport Stroller Rental

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